Be confident in your skin. Embrace your "flaws". Love yourself for who you are. You are beautiful!
love and light, kelly
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Embracing Flaws
Be confident in your skin. Embrace your "flaws". Love yourself for who you are. You are beautiful!
love and light, kelly
Embracing Flaws
Be confident in your skin. Embrace your "flaws". Love yourself for who you are. You are beautiful!
love and light, kelly
Sunday, October 11, 2015
World Mental Health Day
Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. Eating disorders are a form of mental illness. It is not about vanity, like some people believe. It is not an attitude problem. It is not as easily cured as simply choosing to eat again. It is a serious illness. No one wakes up one day and chooses to get anorexia, bulimia, compulsive binge eating disorder, and the like. It is something that happens over time. Usually as a coping mechanism, much like alcoholism and drug addiction.
But what makes eating disorders scary is that out of all the mental illnesses is that it has the highest mortality rate. Studies vary stating the rate between 10 and 20 percent. The reason for the high rate is because of the health issues the disease cause. Many sufferers die from heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition, or suicide. Not to mention the recovery rate isn't stellar either. That's some scary shit people.
That's why I started this blog. To show that it is possible. You can recover. It is not always going to be easy, but many things in life worth having do require hard work. And insurance companies can suck when it comes to coverage. I had to fight with mine. I was out patient, so mine wasn't as expensive, but I know the struggle. One of my dreams is to have a non profit that helps people pay for treatment.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep your head up. You can do it.
If anyone wants to email me and talk, my email is kellyb360@gmail..com.
love and light, kelly
But what makes eating disorders scary is that out of all the mental illnesses is that it has the highest mortality rate. Studies vary stating the rate between 10 and 20 percent. The reason for the high rate is because of the health issues the disease cause. Many sufferers die from heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition, or suicide. Not to mention the recovery rate isn't stellar either. That's some scary shit people.
That's why I started this blog. To show that it is possible. You can recover. It is not always going to be easy, but many things in life worth having do require hard work. And insurance companies can suck when it comes to coverage. I had to fight with mine. I was out patient, so mine wasn't as expensive, but I know the struggle. One of my dreams is to have a non profit that helps people pay for treatment.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep your head up. You can do it.
If anyone wants to email me and talk, my email is kellyb360@gmail..com.
love and light, kelly
World Mental Health Day
Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. Eating disorders are a form of mental illness. It is not about vanity, like some people believe. It is not an attitude problem. It is not as easily cured as simply choosing to eat again. It is a serious illness. No one wakes up one day and chooses to get anorexia, bulimia, compulsive binge eating disorder, and the like. It is something that happens over time. Usually as a coping mechanism, much like alcoholism and drug addiction.
But what makes eating disorders scary is that out of all the mental illnesses is that it has the highest mortality rate. Studies vary stating the rate between 10 and 20 percent. The reason for the high rate is because of the health issues the disease cause. Many sufferers die from heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition, or suicide. Not to mention the recovery rate isn't stellar either. That's some scary shit people.
That's why I started this blog. To show that it is possible. You can recover. It is not always going to be easy, but many things in life worth having do require hard work. And insurance companies can suck when it comes to coverage. I had to fight with mine. I was out patient, so mine wasn't as expensive, but I know the struggle. One of my dreams is to have a non profit that helps people pay for treatment.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep your head up. You can do it.
If anyone wants to email me and talk, my email is kellyb360@gmail.com.
love and light, kelly
But what makes eating disorders scary is that out of all the mental illnesses is that it has the highest mortality rate. Studies vary stating the rate between 10 and 20 percent. The reason for the high rate is because of the health issues the disease cause. Many sufferers die from heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition, or suicide. Not to mention the recovery rate isn't stellar either. That's some scary shit people.
That's why I started this blog. To show that it is possible. You can recover. It is not always going to be easy, but many things in life worth having do require hard work. And insurance companies can suck when it comes to coverage. I had to fight with mine. I was out patient, so mine wasn't as expensive, but I know the struggle. One of my dreams is to have a non profit that helps people pay for treatment.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep your head up. You can do it.
If anyone wants to email me and talk, my email is kellyb360@gmail.com.
love and light, kelly
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Monday, October 5, 2015
A Little Patience
We live in an instant gratification society. You want something now? Well, you can get it now. Movies, albums, songs, books, you name it. You don't even have to leave your house anymore to go shopping. You can do it at the comfort of your house. Just about everything you could possibly want is at your fingertips now. Everything but one.
Your recovery.
That is going to take some time.
And it can suck big time, though you probably already know that.
The main thing I want you to remember is that your disease did not happen overnight. It took months and years to get where you are right now. So it would only make sense that it would take time to get better.
There were many many many times in my recovery that I felt like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This crap is taking too long. It's so much easier staying sick. When am I ever going to be "normal" again? Ever felt like this?
I had many pity parties for myself. But I kept on. Knowing that there had to be a better way of living. Knowing that God had a plan for me. I never gave up. I kept up showing up for my appointments, and doing my recovery work. Slowly I got better.
So don't give up. Anything worth having takes time. I did it and so can you. Have patience and faith. A lot of patience and faith.
love and light, kelly
Your recovery.
That is going to take some time.
And it can suck big time, though you probably already know that.
The main thing I want you to remember is that your disease did not happen overnight. It took months and years to get where you are right now. So it would only make sense that it would take time to get better.
There were many many many times in my recovery that I felt like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This crap is taking too long. It's so much easier staying sick. When am I ever going to be "normal" again? Ever felt like this?
I had many pity parties for myself. But I kept on. Knowing that there had to be a better way of living. Knowing that God had a plan for me. I never gave up. I kept up showing up for my appointments, and doing my recovery work. Slowly I got better.
So don't give up. Anything worth having takes time. I did it and so can you. Have patience and faith. A lot of patience and faith.
love and light, kelly
A Little Patience
We live in an instant gratification society. You want something now? Well, you can get it now. Movies, albums, songs, books, you name it. You don't even have to leave your house anymore to go shopping. You can do it at the comfort of your house. Just about everything you could possibly want is at your fingertips now. Everything but one.
Your recovery.
That is going to take some time.
And it can suck big time, though you probably already know that.
The main thing I want you to remember is that your disease did not happen overnight. It took months and years to get where you are right now. So it would only make sense that it would take time to get better.
There were many many many times in my recovery that I felt like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This crap is taking too long. It's so much easier staying sick. When am I ever going to be "normal" again? Ever felt like this?
I had many pity parties for myself. But I kept on. Knowing that there had to be a better way of living. Knowing that God had a plan for me. I never gave up. I kept up showing up for my appointments, and doing my recovery work. Slowly I got better.
So don't give up. Anything worth having takes time. I did it and so can you. Have patience and faith. A lot of patience and faith.
love and light, kelly
Your recovery.
That is going to take some time.
And it can suck big time, though you probably already know that.
The main thing I want you to remember is that your disease did not happen overnight. It took months and years to get where you are right now. So it would only make sense that it would take time to get better.
There were many many many times in my recovery that I felt like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This crap is taking too long. It's so much easier staying sick. When am I ever going to be "normal" again? Ever felt like this?
I had many pity parties for myself. But I kept on. Knowing that there had to be a better way of living. Knowing that God had a plan for me. I never gave up. I kept up showing up for my appointments, and doing my recovery work. Slowly I got better.
So don't give up. Anything worth having takes time. I did it and so can you. Have patience and faith. A lot of patience and faith.
love and light, kelly
Friday, October 2, 2015
A Return to Love
This is one of my favorite quotes. It comes from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. I urge each and every one of you to read this quote daily and take it to heart. We all have that within us. It is waiting to be discovered. Don't hide it any longer. The world needs people like you.
love and light, kelly
A Return to Love
This is one of my favorite quotes. It comes from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. I urge each and every one of you to read this quote daily and take it to heart. We all have that within us. It is waiting to be discovered. Don't hide it any longer. The world needs people like you.
love and light, kelly
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Trust the Process
Trust the process. Just trust. What do I mean by that?
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Trust the Process
Trust the process. Just trust. What do I mean by that?
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Compare and Despair
Compare and despair. We all do it. We don't mean to. It almost seems automatic.
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
Compare and Despair
Compare and despair. We all do it. We don't mean to. It almost seems automatic.
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Work It
There is a saying in recovery: While I'm in a meeting, my disease is out in the parking lot doing pushups.
I was reminded of this the other day while I was at work. A young woman came in and the first thought that came to me was, "Wow, she's skinny." It wasn't a jealous thought or a comparison. Just an observation. But in a split second, I heard the damn voice say, "Well, you're not." I was like, "Whoa, where did that come from?"
I have had sixteen years of recovery under my belt. Thoughts like that don't usually pop into my head. I'm pretty accepting of my body and weight. So what happened? I don't know.
What I do know is that it teaches me that I can't be lax with my recovery. Sure I have years of recovery behind me. But that doesn't promise me that the voice won't come out from time to time just to try to catch me off guard.
Recovery is something I have to practice everyday. Everyday. Without fail.
How do I practice recovery? I no longer see a therapist, nor am I in a support group. I do recommend those for people who are in the beginning of recovery. What I do now is more of a personal practice. It includes meditation, yoga, Kelly time, naps, and always reading something spiritual. I make sure I do something everyday for my recovery. I have to. Because I know that it is out in the parking lot, doing it's pushups, trying to get stronger. But I have to make sure that I'm stronger than it will ever be. You are too.
One more slogan: Keep coming back. It works if you work it!
love and light, kelly
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
What Did You Say to Me?
OMG!!!! So much this! For those of you in the early stages of recovery that include weight gain, please print this out and put it somewhere where you will see it every single day.
You will get told this. Many times. By many people. Believe me when I tell you, it is a good thing. It won't feel like it is, but it is. The e.d. voice is going to mock it, telling you that what people are really saying is that you are getting fat. That is not true. Remember that. The e.d. feels threatened. It is loosing its hold on you. It knows it. It will begin to use all the tricks in the book to keep you by its side. Don't fall for it. Stay strong. Keep working your recovery.
One of the things I did was tell people not to mention my weight. To keep it to themselves. Not everyone did this, mind you. So when I got told how much healthier I was looking, I would tell myself that healthy does not mean fat. It means healthy. I was no longer looking sick. And that was a good thing. It wasn't always easy. It was very hard to let go of something that I had for over ten years. I remember my grandmother telling me once how she was happy my face was "looking round" again. At the dinner table no less. That meal ended rather quickly and in tears. (That also was years before I was ready to commit to recovery.)
People who have never had an e.d. don't know how it feels to recover from one. "They know not what they do." Don't take it personal. Keep chugging along with your recovery. Eventually you will be happy when someone tells you that you look healthy. I promise.
love and light, kelly
Saturday, September 12, 2015
The Blame Game
The blame game. We've all played it. It's safe. It takes the responsibility off of us. But does it do us any good? Hell no.
I used to play it a lot. It wasn't my fault I had an eating disorder. It was my mother's for agreeing with me that I needed to lose a few extra pounds. It was the media's fault for always having stick thin models walking down the runway. It was my boyfriends fault saying I needed to tighten up my stomach (which was brought on by all the drinking I was doing). It was everyone's fault but mine.
Does this sound familiar to you?
To get better, I had to get real. Who was starving me? Me. Who was sticking their finger down my throat? Me. Who was forcing me to do hours of exercise? Me. No one else, but me. I had to take total responsibility. It wasn't fun. But until I could take blame, I would remain stuck in my disease.
As soon as you do recognize that it is you that is keeping you sick, PLEASE practice forgiveness towards yourself. Do not remain stuck in the blame game with yourself. It does not serve you. You have beat yourself and mistreated yourself long enough. It is time for self love. Practice forgiveness everyday, towards yourself and others. You will be a much happier person, believe me.
love and light, kelly
Monday, August 24, 2015
Thoughts about Thoughts
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Your thoughts create your reality. Be careful how you speak to yourself anytime you do something you may not be sure about. Everyone who knows me always hears me saying, "Don't put that out in the universe" anytime someone says something negative. My husband will correct himself before I will now. (And likewise when I'm on the pity pot.)
Start paying attention to your thoughts. You have anywhere between 60,000 and 90,000 of them a day. The vast majority of them are saying the same thing over and over again. What do you want it to be? That you suck and will never amount to anything? Or that you're the most awesome person ever and can do anything you set your mind to?
It's your choice.
Choose wisely.
love and light, kelly
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Your thoughts create your reality. Be careful how you speak to yourself anytime you do something you may not be sure about. Everyone who knows me always hears me saying, "Don't put that out in the universe" anytime someone says something negative. My husband will correct himself before I will now. (And likewise when I'm on the pity pot.)
Start paying attention to your thoughts. You have anywhere between 60,000 and 90,000 of them a day. The vast majority of them are saying the same thing over and over again. What do you want it to be? That you suck and will never amount to anything? Or that you're the most awesome person ever and can do anything you set your mind to?
It's your choice.
Choose wisely.
love and light, kelly
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Most Powerful Cover Ever
Reading through their stories though, it was sad to see that they did not feel comfortable coming forward sooner due to fear. Fear of not being believed. Fear of not being taken seriously. Fear of the "power" their rapist had in the world.
It's the same old story told time and time again.
Ladies and gentlemen, this has got to change.
I wish I had the answers, but I don't.
I want to live in a world where women can wear what they want, without having to worry about "enticing a man to where he can't control himself".
I want to live in a world where a woman doesn't have to worry about guarding her drink in a bar to prevent someone from drugging it.
I want to live in a world where women feel safe walking by themselves at night, not in fear when a man begins to walk behind them.
I do believe we need to start with our young men coming up in the world. I have a seven year old boy. You better believe he is being taught that women are just as worthy as men. He will treat women with respect and kindness. And I will beat his butt if I ever hear of him treating a girl like crap. (Not literally. Maybe. Lol)
If you are ever a victim of rape or sexual assault, please tell someone. It's much too big to keep to yourself. Even if you don't press charges, please get help for the mental and emotional changes you will go through. It is a very serious problem. If you press charges, thank you for being one of the brave. Very few do press charges. Sad to say that in this society, it's easy to see why. The victim is often put on trial. We need more women to change that.
Thank you for listening to me.
love and light, kelly
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Who You Gonna Serve?
“Whatever is true is eternal, and cannot change or be changed. Spirit is therefore unalterable because it is already perfect, but the mind can elect what it chooses to serve. The only limit put on its choice is that it cannot serve two masters.” (Course of Miracles)
- “No one can serve two masters, for either he
- will hate the one and love the other; or else
- he will be devoted to one and despise the
- other. You can’t serve both God and Mammon." (Matthew 6:24)
- The other night when I was meditating, the saying about not being able to serve two masters came to me. There are so many ways to interpret this. The Bible's meaning is you can't serve God and money or false idols at the same time. The Course breaks it down to where you can't serve love or fear at the same time.
- This concept relates to recovery perfectly! Which master are you going to serve? The one who belittles you every chance it gets? Or the one who tries to lift you up in spirit? You can't do both. Recovery isn't about keeping one foot in the disease, and one foot in recovery. You can't. You have to choose. There are two separate masters fighting for your attention. Your disease is a hell of a lot louder though. Recovery is quieter. But it's peaceful. It feels nicer. It's not easier though. But trust that in the long run, you will be better off. You will be. I promise.
- love and light, kelly
Who You Gonna Serve?
“Whatever is true is eternal, and cannot change or be changed. Spirit is therefore unalterable because it is already perfect, but the mind can elect what it chooses to serve. The only limit put on its choice is that it cannot serve two masters.” (Course of Miracles)
- “No one can serve two masters, for either he
- will hate the one and love the other; or else
- he will be devoted to one and despise the
- other. You can’t serve both God and Mammon." (Matthew 6:24)
- The other night when I was meditating, the saying about not being able to serve two masters came to me. There are so many ways to interpret this. The Bible's meaning is you can't serve God and money or false idols at the same time. The Course breaks it down to where you can't serve love or fear at the same time.
- This concept relates to recovery perfectly! Which master are you going to serve? The one who belittles you every chance it gets? Or the one who tries to lift you up in spirit? You can't do both. Recovery isn't about keeping one foot in the disease, and one foot in recovery. You can't. You have to choose. There are two separate masters fighting for your attention. Your disease is a hell of a lot louder though. Recovery is quieter. But it's peaceful. It feels nicer. It's not easier though. But trust that in the long run, you will be better off. You will be. I promise.
- love and light, kelly
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Believe
I love this quote because it applies to everything, not just recovery. You can use it as an affirmation for your career, your relationships, your financial health, anything. It covers it all.
But for recovery to work, you do have to have belief in yourself first and foremost. Believe you deserve it and are worth it. If you don't have this basic belief, recovery will most likely fail. I did not have this belief when I began my recovery. What got me over the hump to true believing, was good old "fake it until you make it." Act as if you believe and soon you won't be acting at all. I know it sounds silly, but it works. Trust me.
Once you believe you deserve recovery, then comes the belief that you can do it. This is the most important belief. Tell yourself over and over that you can do it. Become the little engine that could. Have it become your own personal mantra. Whatever it takes to drill it into your head, do it.
Because you can.
love and light, kelly
Believe
I love this quote because it applies to everything, not just recovery. You can use it as an affirmation for your career, your relationships, your financial health, anything. It covers it all.
But for recovery to work, you do have to have belief in yourself first and foremost. Believe you deserve it and are worth it. If you don't have this basic belief, recovery will most likely fail. I did not have this belief when I began my recovery. What got me over the hump to true believing, was good old "fake it until you make it." Act as if you believe and soon you won't be acting at all. I know it sounds silly, but it works. Trust me.
Once you believe you deserve recovery, then comes the belief that you can do it. This is the most important belief. Tell yourself over and over that you can do it. Become the little engine that could. Have it become your own personal mantra. Whatever it takes to drill it into your head, do it.
Because you can.
love and light, kelly
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Bye Bye Past
Isn't the past kind? It's always over. Byron Katie
Can I get an Amen? I saw this quote today and immediately loved it. Isn't the past kind? It's always over.
I for one used to live in the past. I would rehash all my mistakes over and over in my head. I should have done this or I wish this had happened instead. On and on. Beating myself up over things that did not matter anymore. That held no meaning in the present.
If you are doing this, I have one thing to say: STOP!!!
You are robbing yourself of peace. The past is in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. It's over and done with.
Forgive yourself of any wrongdoing you may have done in the past that is still upsetting you. Forgive yourself of any of the feelings that come up with that. Anger, regret, bitterness, all of the negatives. Get it out and be done with it.
If there is someone that you have hurt and you are able to, ask for their forgiveness. If they are able to forgive, great. If not, that is their issue they need to handle. Remember that. You did your part.
We can not let the past have this hold on us any longer. Leave it there. In the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. And then get the hell away from it!
I'm going to leave you with one more quote. It's paraphrasing a Buddhist quote. "If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future, then you are pissing on the present."
love and light, kelly
Can I get an Amen? I saw this quote today and immediately loved it. Isn't the past kind? It's always over.
I for one used to live in the past. I would rehash all my mistakes over and over in my head. I should have done this or I wish this had happened instead. On and on. Beating myself up over things that did not matter anymore. That held no meaning in the present.
If you are doing this, I have one thing to say: STOP!!!
You are robbing yourself of peace. The past is in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. It's over and done with.
Forgive yourself of any wrongdoing you may have done in the past that is still upsetting you. Forgive yourself of any of the feelings that come up with that. Anger, regret, bitterness, all of the negatives. Get it out and be done with it.
If there is someone that you have hurt and you are able to, ask for their forgiveness. If they are able to forgive, great. If not, that is their issue they need to handle. Remember that. You did your part.
We can not let the past have this hold on us any longer. Leave it there. In the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. And then get the hell away from it!
I'm going to leave you with one more quote. It's paraphrasing a Buddhist quote. "If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future, then you are pissing on the present."
love and light, kelly
Bye Bye Past
Isn't the past kind? It's always over. Byron Katie
Can I get an Amen? I saw this quote today and immediately loved it. Isn't the past kind? It's always over.
I for one used to live in the past. I would rehash all my mistakes over and over in my head. I should have done this or I wish this had happened instead. On and on. Beating myself up over things that did not matter anymore. That held no meaning in the present.
If you are doing this, I have one thing to say: STOP!!!
You are robbing yourself of peace. The past is in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. It's over and done with.
Forgive yourself of any wrongdoing you may have done in the past that is still upsetting you. Forgive yourself of any of the feelings that come up with that. Anger, regret, bitterness, all of the negatives. Get it out and be done with it.
If there is someone that you have hurt and you are able to, ask for their forgiveness. If they are able to forgive, great. If not, that is their issue they need to handle. Remember that. You did your part.
We can not let the past have this hold on us any longer. Leave it there. In the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. And then get the hell away from it!
I'm going to leave you with one more quote. It's paraphrasing a Buddhist quote. "If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future, then you are pissing on the present."
love and light, kelly
Can I get an Amen? I saw this quote today and immediately loved it. Isn't the past kind? It's always over.
I for one used to live in the past. I would rehash all my mistakes over and over in my head. I should have done this or I wish this had happened instead. On and on. Beating myself up over things that did not matter anymore. That held no meaning in the present.
If you are doing this, I have one thing to say: STOP!!!
You are robbing yourself of peace. The past is in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. It's over and done with.
Forgive yourself of any wrongdoing you may have done in the past that is still upsetting you. Forgive yourself of any of the feelings that come up with that. Anger, regret, bitterness, all of the negatives. Get it out and be done with it.
If there is someone that you have hurt and you are able to, ask for their forgiveness. If they are able to forgive, great. If not, that is their issue they need to handle. Remember that. You did your part.
We can not let the past have this hold on us any longer. Leave it there. In the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. And then get the hell away from it!
I'm going to leave you with one more quote. It's paraphrasing a Buddhist quote. "If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future, then you are pissing on the present."
love and light, kelly
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Step Off of the Scale
Please do me a favor and throw the damn thing away. Do yourself a favor and throw the damn thing away. It's not helping or serving you in any way. It's only hurting you. Taunting you. Ridiculing you. You know it's true.
I used to be a slave to what the number on the scale said. How my mood was going to be that day was determined by what the scale said. Instead of asking a magic 8 ball how I was going to feel, I'd just step on the scale. I mean, Lord forbid, I try to actually see how I'm really feeling.
I remember once my brother pushing the scale numbers back, so that when I got on the scale, I'd think I had lost weight. He said he did that because he got tired of how upset I would get after weighing myself and wanted me to think I had lost weight. Though his heart was in the right place, he did not understand I was in the depth of an eating disorder. All that made me do was get pissed at him for tricking me. I would also have to make sure the line on the scale was perfectly lined up with 0 before stepping on the scale.
For those of you who been in treatment, you know that they weigh you standing backwards on the scale. Oh how I hated that in the beginning. I would try to gauge where I was by examining their reactions to my weight. I would ask if I gained or lost any from last time. In the beginning they would tell me. Never in numbers though. "You gained a little bit." Or, "Your weight has dropped from last week." They stopped telling when it was noticed how I would get depressed over the weight gains and happy over the weight losses.
For a few years after treatment, I did continue to stand backwards on the scale at the doctor's office. I wasn't ready to see the number. It was about three or four years later when I did finally start to face the damn thing head on.
I will admit that even to this day, it is one of my least favorite parts of any doctor visit. But so what?
Your weight is simply a measure of your relationship to gravity. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not a measure of who you are as a person. It does not measure how caring you are. How sweet you are. What a great friend you are. It does not measure any of your qualities that make you YOU. The doctor just uses your weight to notice any sudden gains or losses that may signal a problem. Also for you to try to stay in the "healthy" range for your height and shape.
Don't allow the scale to rule your life. Throw it away. Smash it to bits. You don't need that negativity in your life, let alone, in your own home. Get rid of it.
love and light, kelly
I used to be a slave to what the number on the scale said. How my mood was going to be that day was determined by what the scale said. Instead of asking a magic 8 ball how I was going to feel, I'd just step on the scale. I mean, Lord forbid, I try to actually see how I'm really feeling.
I remember once my brother pushing the scale numbers back, so that when I got on the scale, I'd think I had lost weight. He said he did that because he got tired of how upset I would get after weighing myself and wanted me to think I had lost weight. Though his heart was in the right place, he did not understand I was in the depth of an eating disorder. All that made me do was get pissed at him for tricking me. I would also have to make sure the line on the scale was perfectly lined up with 0 before stepping on the scale.
For those of you who been in treatment, you know that they weigh you standing backwards on the scale. Oh how I hated that in the beginning. I would try to gauge where I was by examining their reactions to my weight. I would ask if I gained or lost any from last time. In the beginning they would tell me. Never in numbers though. "You gained a little bit." Or, "Your weight has dropped from last week." They stopped telling when it was noticed how I would get depressed over the weight gains and happy over the weight losses.
For a few years after treatment, I did continue to stand backwards on the scale at the doctor's office. I wasn't ready to see the number. It was about three or four years later when I did finally start to face the damn thing head on.
I will admit that even to this day, it is one of my least favorite parts of any doctor visit. But so what?
Your weight is simply a measure of your relationship to gravity. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not a measure of who you are as a person. It does not measure how caring you are. How sweet you are. What a great friend you are. It does not measure any of your qualities that make you YOU. The doctor just uses your weight to notice any sudden gains or losses that may signal a problem. Also for you to try to stay in the "healthy" range for your height and shape.
Don't allow the scale to rule your life. Throw it away. Smash it to bits. You don't need that negativity in your life, let alone, in your own home. Get rid of it.
love and light, kelly
Step Off of the Scale
Please do me a favor and throw the damn thing away. Do yourself a favor and throw the damn thing away. It's not helping or serving you in any way. It's only hurting you. Taunting you. Ridiculing you. You know it's true.
I used to be a slave to what the number on the scale said. How my mood was going to be that day was determined by what the scale said. Instead of asking a magic 8 ball how I was going to feel, I'd just step on the scale. I mean, Lord forbid, I try to actually see how I'm really feeling.
I remember once my brother pushing the scale numbers back, so that when I got on the scale, I'd think I had lost weight. He said he did that because he got tired of how upset I would get after weighing myself and wanted me to think I had lost weight. Though his heart was in the right place, he did not understand I was in the depth of an eating disorder. All that made me do was get pissed at him for tricking me. I would also have to make sure the line on the scale was perfectly lined up with 0 before stepping on the scale.
For those of you who been in treatment, you know that they weigh you standing backwards on the scale. Oh how I hated that in the beginning. I would try to gauge where I was by examining their reactions to my weight. I would ask if I gained or lost any from last time. In the beginning they would tell me. Never in numbers though. "You gained a little bit." Or, "Your weight has dropped from last week." They stopped telling when it was noticed how I would get depressed over the weight gains and happy over the weight losses.
For a few years after treatment, I did continue to stand backwards on the scale at the doctor's office. I wasn't ready to see the number. It was about three or four years later when I did finally start to face the damn thing head on.
I will admit that even to this day, it is one of my least favorite parts of any doctor visit. But so what?
Your weight is simply a measure of your relationship to gravity. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not a measure of who you are as a person. It does not measure how caring you are. How sweet you are. What a great friend you are. It does not measure any of your qualities that make you YOU. The doctor just uses your weight to notice any sudden gains or losses that may signal a problem. Also for you to try to stay in the "healthy" range for your height and shape.
Don't allow the scale to rule your life. Throw it away. Smash it to bits. You don't need that negativity in your life, let alone, in your own home. Get rid of it.
love and light, kelly
I used to be a slave to what the number on the scale said. How my mood was going to be that day was determined by what the scale said. Instead of asking a magic 8 ball how I was going to feel, I'd just step on the scale. I mean, Lord forbid, I try to actually see how I'm really feeling.
I remember once my brother pushing the scale numbers back, so that when I got on the scale, I'd think I had lost weight. He said he did that because he got tired of how upset I would get after weighing myself and wanted me to think I had lost weight. Though his heart was in the right place, he did not understand I was in the depth of an eating disorder. All that made me do was get pissed at him for tricking me. I would also have to make sure the line on the scale was perfectly lined up with 0 before stepping on the scale.
For those of you who been in treatment, you know that they weigh you standing backwards on the scale. Oh how I hated that in the beginning. I would try to gauge where I was by examining their reactions to my weight. I would ask if I gained or lost any from last time. In the beginning they would tell me. Never in numbers though. "You gained a little bit." Or, "Your weight has dropped from last week." They stopped telling when it was noticed how I would get depressed over the weight gains and happy over the weight losses.
For a few years after treatment, I did continue to stand backwards on the scale at the doctor's office. I wasn't ready to see the number. It was about three or four years later when I did finally start to face the damn thing head on.
I will admit that even to this day, it is one of my least favorite parts of any doctor visit. But so what?
Your weight is simply a measure of your relationship to gravity. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not a measure of who you are as a person. It does not measure how caring you are. How sweet you are. What a great friend you are. It does not measure any of your qualities that make you YOU. The doctor just uses your weight to notice any sudden gains or losses that may signal a problem. Also for you to try to stay in the "healthy" range for your height and shape.
Don't allow the scale to rule your life. Throw it away. Smash it to bits. You don't need that negativity in your life, let alone, in your own home. Get rid of it.
love and light, kelly
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