Work It

There is a saying in recovery:  While I'm in a meeting, my disease is out in the parking lot doing pushups.  

I was reminded of this the other day while I was at work.  A young woman came in and the first thought that came to me was, "Wow, she's skinny."  It wasn't a jealous thought or a comparison.  Just an observation.  But in a split second, I heard the damn voice say, "Well, you're not."  I was like, "Whoa, where did that come from?"   

I have had sixteen years of recovery under my belt.  Thoughts like that don't usually pop into my head.  I'm pretty accepting of my body and weight.  So what happened?  I don't know.

What I do know is that it teaches me that I can't be lax with my recovery.  Sure I have years of recovery behind me.  But that doesn't promise me that the voice won't come out from time to time just to try to catch me off guard.  

Recovery is something I have to practice everyday.  Everyday.  Without fail.

How do I practice recovery?  I no longer see a therapist, nor am I in a support group.  I do recommend those for people who are in the beginning of recovery.  What I do now is more of a personal practice.  It includes meditation, yoga, Kelly time, naps, and always reading something spiritual.  I make sure I do something everyday for my recovery.  I have to.  Because I know that it is out in the parking lot, doing it's pushups, trying to get stronger.  But I have to make sure that I'm stronger than it will ever be.  You are too.

One more slogan:  Keep coming back.  It works if you work it!

love and light, kelly