Trust the process. Just trust. What do I mean by that?
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Trust the Process
Trust the process. Just trust. What do I mean by that?
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Know that you are being guided by something bigger than you. Know that you are right where you are supposed to be right now. Know that you will be given all that you need when you need it. Because you will.
Trust the process.
You may not see the end just yet. That is fine. It is there. It will come in time. Just trust the process.
Be still. Breathe. Let go and let God. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be. It's going to be ok. It is. It may not happen overnight. It may not happen in a day, a week, a month, hell, a year. But it will happen. Have faith. Don't give up.
The moments where you feel like throwing in the towel are the moments when you need to remember this the most. And there will be those moments. More than you will like to know. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep trusting the process.
love and light, kelly
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Compare and Despair
Compare and despair. We all do it. We don't mean to. It almost seems automatic.
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
Compare and Despair
Compare and despair. We all do it. We don't mean to. It almost seems automatic.
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
What do I mean by compare and despair? You see someone that seems to have "it" more together than you. You then feel bad by comparison. In the eating disorder world, it means you see someone that you perceive as being thinner than you. Your eating disorder is always on the lookout for people who are thinner. And it seems like they are everywhere. You can't escape.
So what do you do?
The solution is easier said than done, but with practice it gets to be secondhand.
TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON YOURSELF!!! KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Pay no attention to what others are doing. It doesn't matter. At all.
To tell a story from my personal life, I'm going through this with my son right now. He recently brought home a D on his math test. He and I both know that he can do better, so we were talking about how he can bring his grade up. He started talking about how so and so in his class is so smart and always makes As and on and on. I immediately told him not that his classmate's grades were not to be our concern. We can be proud of his classmate, but we need to turn our attention back on him and what we can do to improve his test grades. I told my son that our focus needs to stay on him and only him. We were not to worry or compare him to his classmates. Once he understood this, he felt much better. (He's seven.)
Another point I want to touch on real quick is Facebook. I saw a quote that says something to the liking of, Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel. Facebook should be called Fakebook. People post only what they want others to see. Now there are a few people who do post all their dirty laundry, and they get very tiring. So be very careful when you're on there.
My last point is you'd be very surprised, but I bet you have people that look at you and then compare and despair. That goes back to what I said at the beginning. We all do it. The girl who you look at and believe that she has it all, may look at you and think you have it all. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Work It
There is a saying in recovery: While I'm in a meeting, my disease is out in the parking lot doing pushups.
I was reminded of this the other day while I was at work. A young woman came in and the first thought that came to me was, "Wow, she's skinny." It wasn't a jealous thought or a comparison. Just an observation. But in a split second, I heard the damn voice say, "Well, you're not." I was like, "Whoa, where did that come from?"
I have had sixteen years of recovery under my belt. Thoughts like that don't usually pop into my head. I'm pretty accepting of my body and weight. So what happened? I don't know.
What I do know is that it teaches me that I can't be lax with my recovery. Sure I have years of recovery behind me. But that doesn't promise me that the voice won't come out from time to time just to try to catch me off guard.
Recovery is something I have to practice everyday. Everyday. Without fail.
How do I practice recovery? I no longer see a therapist, nor am I in a support group. I do recommend those for people who are in the beginning of recovery. What I do now is more of a personal practice. It includes meditation, yoga, Kelly time, naps, and always reading something spiritual. I make sure I do something everyday for my recovery. I have to. Because I know that it is out in the parking lot, doing it's pushups, trying to get stronger. But I have to make sure that I'm stronger than it will ever be. You are too.
One more slogan: Keep coming back. It works if you work it!
love and light, kelly
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
What Did You Say to Me?
OMG!!!! So much this! For those of you in the early stages of recovery that include weight gain, please print this out and put it somewhere where you will see it every single day.
You will get told this. Many times. By many people. Believe me when I tell you, it is a good thing. It won't feel like it is, but it is. The e.d. voice is going to mock it, telling you that what people are really saying is that you are getting fat. That is not true. Remember that. The e.d. feels threatened. It is loosing its hold on you. It knows it. It will begin to use all the tricks in the book to keep you by its side. Don't fall for it. Stay strong. Keep working your recovery.
One of the things I did was tell people not to mention my weight. To keep it to themselves. Not everyone did this, mind you. So when I got told how much healthier I was looking, I would tell myself that healthy does not mean fat. It means healthy. I was no longer looking sick. And that was a good thing. It wasn't always easy. It was very hard to let go of something that I had for over ten years. I remember my grandmother telling me once how she was happy my face was "looking round" again. At the dinner table no less. That meal ended rather quickly and in tears. (That also was years before I was ready to commit to recovery.)
People who have never had an e.d. don't know how it feels to recover from one. "They know not what they do." Don't take it personal. Keep chugging along with your recovery. Eventually you will be happy when someone tells you that you look healthy. I promise.
love and light, kelly
Saturday, September 12, 2015
The Blame Game
The blame game. We've all played it. It's safe. It takes the responsibility off of us. But does it do us any good? Hell no.
I used to play it a lot. It wasn't my fault I had an eating disorder. It was my mother's for agreeing with me that I needed to lose a few extra pounds. It was the media's fault for always having stick thin models walking down the runway. It was my boyfriends fault saying I needed to tighten up my stomach (which was brought on by all the drinking I was doing). It was everyone's fault but mine.
Does this sound familiar to you?
To get better, I had to get real. Who was starving me? Me. Who was sticking their finger down my throat? Me. Who was forcing me to do hours of exercise? Me. No one else, but me. I had to take total responsibility. It wasn't fun. But until I could take blame, I would remain stuck in my disease.
As soon as you do recognize that it is you that is keeping you sick, PLEASE practice forgiveness towards yourself. Do not remain stuck in the blame game with yourself. It does not serve you. You have beat yourself and mistreated yourself long enough. It is time for self love. Practice forgiveness everyday, towards yourself and others. You will be a much happier person, believe me.
love and light, kelly
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