One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

(Yes I'm quoting Paula Abdul lyrics for my title.)

A little over a month ago I had surgery that put me out for awhile.  I'm just now getting to where I feel normal again.  Relatively normal that is.  I'm not where I was, but I'm getting there.  My body lets me know when it has taken on too much for the day and such.  So I listen.  I rest.  I sleep.  I lay on my butt.  A lot.  It's frustrating.  I'm by no means a get up and go kind of gal.  I'm laid back and prefer to chill, but this surgery has really been a lesson in respecting my limits.  One day I feel great.  The next day I feel as if I've been hit by a truck.

Recovery from anything can be like this.  Especially an eating disorder.

I would always wish that recovery would be step one, then step two, and step three, and so forth.  But it's not.  Instead of a straight line, it's a bunch of squiggly lines all over the place.  And that's OK.  That is how we get from being sick to healthy.  It's the same for all of us.  No matter what the problem.  Accept it.  One day you may feel like you'll never be tempted again.  The next day, you may have the biggest episode of your life.  And that's how it is.  It's ok.  As long as you begin again.  Keep going forward every chance you have.  "Fall down seven.  Get up eight."

Listen to your body and its needs.  Respect your body.  That's probably one of the hardest things to learn to do in recovery.  For so long, we have ignored our bodies basic needs.  Start to tune in to yourself.  What do you need right now?  What is your body trying to tell you?  Get quiet for a few minutes and just breathe.  The answers will come to you.  If not, at least you'll feel calmer!

Once you begin to get healthy again, you will notice that the backward steps are getting further and further apart from the forward steps.  There will be many more forward steps than backward ones.  But do not beat yourself up over the backward ones.  Learn from them.  They are not a reflection of who you are as a person.  They are just reminders that there are a few more steps to take.

love and light, kelly

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

(Yes I'm quoting Paula Abdul lyrics for my title.)

A little over a month ago I had surgery that put me out for awhile.  I'm just now getting to where I feel normal again.  Relatively normal that is.  I'm not where I was, but I'm getting there.  My body lets me know when it has taken on too much for the day and such.  So I listen.  I rest.  I sleep.  I lay on my butt.  A lot.  It's frustrating.  I'm by no means a get up and go kind of gal.  I'm laid back and prefer to chill, but this surgery has really been a lesson in respecting my limits.  One day I feel great.  The next day I feel as if I've been hit by a truck.

Recovery from anything can be like this.  Especially an eating disorder.

I would always wish that recovery would be step one, then step two, and step three, and so forth.  But it's not.  Instead of a straight line, it's a bunch of squiggly lines all over the place.  And that's OK.  That is how we get from being sick to healthy.  It's the same for all of us.  No matter what the problem.  Accept it.  One day you may feel like you'll never be tempted again.  The next day, you may have the biggest episode of your life.  And that's how it is.  It's ok.  As long as you begin again.  Keep going forward every chance you have.  "Fall down seven.  Get up eight."

Listen to your body and its needs.  Respect your body.  That's probably one of the hardest things to learn to do in recovery.  For so long, we have ignored our bodies basic needs.  Start to tune in to yourself.  What do you need right now?  What is your body trying to tell you?  Get quiet for a few minutes and just breathe.  The answers will come to you.  If not, at least you'll feel calmer!

Once you begin to get healthy again, you will notice that the backward steps are getting further and further apart from the forward steps.  There will be many more forward steps than backward ones.  But do not beat yourself up over the backward ones.  Learn from them.  They are not a reflection of who you are as a person.  They are just reminders that there are a few more steps to take.

love and light, kelly

You Are Not Your Disease!!!

You are not your disease!!!  Got it?  You aren't.  You are so much more than it.  Now the eating disorder wants you to believe you are nothing without it, that your whole identity is wrapped up in it. But that is a lie.  You are a beautiful person who just so happens to be suffering with a horrible disease.  The disease is a small part of you.  Only a small part of you.

I remember a girl that was in my support group who was so scared to get better.  She said that for as long as she can remember she was always known as "the sick one".  She did not want to get better, because without the illness she felt she had nothing else.  Nothing else to make her stand out from the rest of her family.  I'm sure many of you have felt that way before.

Well now's the time to find something else to be known for.  Get rid of the "sick" image.  That's not serving you, nor anyone else.  Who would you be if you did not have this illness?  What would your plans for the future be?  What would you want to accomplish?  Because you can do all that and more.  You just have to let go of the limiting belief that this disease has on you.  Let it go.  You are an amazing person who was put here to do amazing things.  Do them!

To begin to see yourself without the disease, list five things about yourself that has nothing to do with the outside of you (appearance).  Mine might be:  I'm funny, caring, intuitive, quirky, and headstrong.

Basically I'm saying not to let the disease define you.  You are more than someone who is suffering from an eating disorder.  Hopefully in the future you won't be suffering from one at all.  Concentrate on all your good traits and let those blossom.  The world needs more great people like you.

love and light, kelly

You Are Not Your Disease!!!

You are not your disease!!!  Got it?  You aren't.  You are so much more than it.  Now the eating disorder wants you to believe you are nothing without it, that your whole identity is wrapped up in it. But that is a lie.  You are a beautiful person who just so happens to be suffering with a horrible disease.  The disease is a small part of you.  Only a small part of you.

I remember a girl that was in my support group who was so scared to get better.  She said that for as long as she can remember she was always known as "the sick one".  She did not want to get better, because without the illness she felt she had nothing else.  Nothing else to make her stand out from the rest of her family.  I'm sure many of you have felt that way before.

Well now's the time to find something else to be known for.  Get rid of the "sick" image.  That's not serving you, nor anyone else.  Who would you be if you did not have this illness?  What would your plans for the future be?  What would you want to accomplish?  Because you can do all that and more.  You just have to let go of the limiting belief that this disease has on you.  Let it go.  You are an amazing person who was put here to do amazing things.  Do them!

To begin to see yourself without the disease, list five things about yourself that has nothing to do with the outside of you (appearance).  Mine might be:  I'm funny, caring, intuitive, quirky, and headstrong.

Basically I'm saying not to let the disease define you.  You are more than someone who is suffering from an eating disorder.  Hopefully in the future you won't be suffering from one at all.  Concentrate on all your good traits and let those blossom.  The world needs more great people like you.

love and light, kelly