Even though I've had seventeen years recovery from my eating disorder, I'm still suffering one of its side effects. Even right now as I write this.
My digestive system is completely screwed up.
Right now I have bad stomach bloating, gas, and a horrible stomach ache. I've taken four Tums and it has not helped in the least.
The only time after my recovery that I had what you could call a "normal" digestive system was when I was pregnant. I was Little Miss Regular. I really hoped that it would continue after I had my beautiful baby boy.
It didn't.
Now I'm lucky if I can go once a week. I envy people who are regular. Seriously.
Once when I was at the store, I bought what I thought were fiber pills. They worked magnificently! I found my cure. I was so happy. When I ran out of them and went to buy another bottle, I looked more closely at the label. I had been taking laxatives, not fiber pills. Well no f*ing wonder they worked. I knew I couldn't continue taking them and bought the actual fiber pills instead. Did they work? No.
Now I'm taking probiotics. I've been doing this for about a month now. No improvement. My next step is adding Mirolax in my coffee every morning. I've only done this for the last two mornings, so I can't tell you if it's helped or not.
I have developed a corn allergy as well. I can not eat anything made from corn or corn flour without experiencing excruciating pain. Taco Bell used to be one of my number one places to get my binge and purge foods. No more crunchy tacos or nachos for me. When buying groceries I have to make sure that nothing I buy contains corn. And by being a southern girl, I sure do miss cheesy grits loaded with butter.
This sucks. Thanks for listening to me rant. I guess I'm writing this to let people know that an eating disorder can truly fuck with you. I never thought I would still be having problems this long into my recovery. If you are still actively participating in your disease, please get help. And if you're experiencing this, know you're not alone. If you have any remedies, please let me know. We're all in this together.
love and light, kelly
