Change the Tape In Your Head

You're fat.
You cow.
You're wearing that?
You're so ugly.
I can't stand you.
No one likes you.
You disgust me.

Would you ever say any of those things to one of your friends?  No, of course not.

Would you be friends with anyone who said this to you?  You say no.  But you say things like this to yourself everyday, I bet.  I know I did.  It was like a tape playing over and over in my head.  Nothing was ever good enough for that voice in my head.

In order to get better, I had to learn how to become a good friend to myself.  One of the ways to do that was to retrain the way I talked to myself.  If I would never ever talk to anyone in the way I talked to myself, why did I do it to myself?  There's that old saying - you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.  That saying has been around for years because it's true.

The way I retrained my brain was whenever a negative thought came into my mind, I immediately countered it with the exact opposite positive statement.  "I'm fat" became "I'm healthy".  "I'm ugly" became "I'm pretty".  "Everyone hates me" became "Everyone likes me".  

There was TONS of resistance at the beginning.  TONS!!!  I was going against twenty plus years of programming.  The e.d. voice in my head would laugh and laugh at me.  I ignored it and kept chugging along.  Yes I felt stupid at the beginning.  I always thought affirmations were silly.  But if my constant negative talk to myself made me believe all that, wouldn't my positive talk cause me to believe it as well?  I had nothing to lose, so I did it.  And know what?  It did work.  Not overnight.  I had years to work against.  But it did.

I am a firm believer that the thoughts you put out in the Universe will become your reality. Change your thoughts, change your world. Stop beating yourself up. Love yourself. When you catch yourself talking bad to yourself, stop. Say something nice. This isn't about vanity or being stuck on yourself. It's about being loving to yourself. You will start to believe the positive thoughts about yourself. This is something I still struggle with everyday. People with and without eating disorders do the same thing. It's human nature. Be willing to change and practice this tool. I promise you it works. The two words I AM are some the most powerful words there are. Be careful about what you put behind them. You are proclaiming this to the Universe, and it has no choice but to reflect it back to you. Let your words be kind and caring.


love and light, Kelly